I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
