so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
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Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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