oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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