My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
