Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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