We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
