O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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