Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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