his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
