You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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