I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
