We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
