You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
