Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
