im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
