Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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