so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im six kinds of drunk right now
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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