If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
