I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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