You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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