cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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