The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
