Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
