I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
