I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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