is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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