He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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