I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
