i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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