I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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