Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
