the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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