swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
