hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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