So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
DRUNK COOKIES
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