A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize