evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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