ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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