Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
