Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize