his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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