I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
