Don't you send me to vm
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
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we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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