I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
