in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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