I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
