he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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