I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
