Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
