I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
