I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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