I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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