so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.