ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.