Why are handjobs necessary in class?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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