I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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