I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
