She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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