Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
