did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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