Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
